Keeping the Faith and Moving Forward: The Founding of StyleTrek

I've been remiss. My last post was from January 16th. My life was turned upside down. I just lost my job and did my best to stay strong and optimistic. I had to break the news to my 7-year-old son since I was now going to be around more. Kids are observant. After a couple of days, Mateo asked, "Mommy, how come you're not dressed up for work and you're always home now?" How do I answer this honestly without getting him scared? How do I explain to a 7-year-old that I was no longer working for the company and didn't have a job? This was our conversation as I was getting my son ready for school:
I said, "Mateo, I'm going to be home more and can pick you up from school."
He asked, "How come Mommy?"
I said, "I lost my job so I don't have to go to work anymore."
Mateo, "How come?
I said, "I guess they don't need me anymore."
He asked, "Why not?"
I said, "I guess I did my job too well, and now they think my division can run well without me."
He said, "What's going to happen now? Do we have to move?"
I said, "No sweetie, we have some money so there's nothing to worry about and I'm going to get another job soon."

This exchange with my son was heartbreaking and I tried my best not to cry or appear scared in front of him. I gathered my composure and kept the routine going. I took him to school, dropped him off, and tried to figure out what to do next.

I found myself blowing off calls and emails from headhunters. I found myself doing a lot of research online. I started reaching out to friends and business contacts to explore what I should do next. With a few friends whose business expertise I valued, I bounced off ideas on what I wanted to do next. They gave me feedback and encouragement. One meeting led to another. Next thing I new, I started preparing a powerpoint of my ideas on what I wanted to do next and sharing them with people.

What I wanted to do was use my knowledge and experience to help emerging fashion designers make a better living. I have tremendous amount of respect and admiration for those who follow their hearts and pursue their dreams. Fashion designers go in this category. Working at multi-national fashion and luxury brands allowed me to get an inside look at the pros and cons of the business. I learned how disadvantaged designers were in getting their products seen by department store buyers and actually get floor space at stores. Then payment terms were against the designers once they actually got into department stores. After getting an order from a store, the designer has to pay for the raw materials and production of the merchandise. Even pay for producing excess inventory in order to meet production minimums. In four months after receiving an order, they deliver the goods to the stores. In six months they may get paid. In seven months, they get their unsold merchandise sent back to them. I thought there had to be a better, more efficient way to market designers and their products and enable customers to find them and buy their products. I always wanted to start an incubator of up and coming fashion companies and now I may have the ability to help hundreds of designers make a better and more profitable living.

In February, I spent my rent money acquiring the domain StyleTrek.com. I started to write the business concept and summary. The premise of StyleTrek is "Fueling Emerging Designers through Social Commerce." I recruited a friend to help me with the business plan and financials. By March, I had friends interested in investing in the company. I got a logo designed and had business cards made. I was able to get meetings with top VCs such as Accel in Silicon Valley and Bessemer in New York through introductions from friends and my own efforts. Former investors in my first start-up BoutiqueY3k agreed to invest in StyleTrek. I started building a team and designing the site. I started reaching out to designers. My team and I prepared an RFP and sent them out for developers to build the site for launch in July 2010.

As I'm writing this today, March 25th, I need to pinch myself. I honestly did not know what my future held for me on January 11th when I lost my job, or on January 16th when I wrote my last blog and had to disclose to my son that I was now out of work.

I am now CEO of a company currently valued over $2 million dollars (based on my angel investors who agreed on putting in money at this valuation). On April 9th, I will be flying to Amsterdam to speak at a conference for e-commerce developers. On April 14th, I'm going to Boston to meet with VCs, advisors, and developers. On April 21, I'll be flying to San Francisco to meet with more potential investors who like what they've learned about StyleTrek's business model from respected investors.

I feel very blessed and fortunate. I am eternally grateful to those who gave me their time and advice during the past 2 months. Every minute of the time they gave me took up empty space and pushed me to be more productive. Roll call to the following:
George Robb, Jennifer Johnson, Ben Sun, Helen Lais, Pritam Doshi, Phil Lam, Mark Dingle, Michael Cohen, Christina Hagopian, Jim Robinson IV, Milton Pedraza, Paul Raffin, Mike Hsieh, Bob Lessin, Ed Sim, Steve Klein, Sheilah Esguerra, Liz Ramos, Allison Stearns, Kecia Coby, Tanya Le-Bras Brown, Kristin Knapp, Ernabel Demillo, Garin Toren, Angelo Ragaza, Zach Sachen, Paco Sandejas, Dennis Mendiola, my brothers Ray, Antonio and Jovito, J.D. Heilprin, Shawn Gold, Craig Alberino, Nicholas Butterworth, Josh Felser, Seth Goldstein, Jeff Dachis, Doug Rushkoff, Sheryl Marshall, Theresia Ranzetta, Jim Marver, Jon Rubin, Jonathan Taqqu, Jeremy Levine, Sarah Tavel, William Wong, Tac Leung, Tisha Carzon Fontanilla, Mary Jo Velez Gervasoni, Bianca Zani, Jonathan Taqqu, John Cirigliano, Daniel Gossels, Will Kohler, Brian Kobus, Lisa Friedman, Sharon Harsa, Tess Lanza, Roni Marton, Gero Nagy, Mateo Pagkalinawan, Mom & Dad, Peter Rhoads, Bjorn Iooss, Ahmad Larnes, Andrew Dizon, Sandra Sandor, Grace Sun, Scott & Kathy Formby, David Tlale, Ale Martins, Melina Solnicki, Trina Albus, Joanne Ooi.

I don't know what the future holds. I'm taking things one day at a time. But with the advice and guidance of the people above, I feel empowered that I can accomplish anything. They believe and have faith in me. That's my fuel.

SURVIVING AND THRIVING FROM UNEMPLOYMENT

I did not expect to be writing about this topic so early in 2010. It just so happens that I got laid off early this week from a company for which I was working for four years. Immediate feelings of disappointment, betrayal, sadness, confusion and doubt came over me. Despite my initial reaction, it was not something which surprised me. Many companies have been laying off employees since January 2009, when the impact of the Lehman Brothers collapse became evident and the shock to the populace stunted spending on all sectors. Many were laid off including those in entry-level to C-level positions. When even extremely talented and experienced people with strong track records get laid off, no one is immune. The current recession is one that is hitting people of all income levels and positions. We read daily about the unemployment statistics as we track the progress or lack of progress of the economy. Friends in business and finance were shifting their investments, trying to find pockets of opportunity and preparing their existing companies for survival mode. Bonuses and budgets were cut, making mid to senior level managers wondering how they can run their divisions with so little resources and still be expected to raise sales by double digit percentages. I'm out. Now, what's next?

For some reason, I was not shaken by getting laid off. Any time I lost my job in the past, I somehow landed a better job earning more money.

I was first laid off in 1997. I was at my first Internet start-up. I joined the company as the 6th employee and it quickly grew to 65. I became the Vice President of Client Services and Creative Affairs at age twenty-six and directly managed 30 employees and two dozen Fortune 1000 clients. I worked 12- 14 hour days and helped the company go public which made its founders wealthy men. The bankers advised the company that because of the nature of my work and responsibilities, I should be made an officer of the company. They discussed with me a litany of additional responsibilities and restrictions associated with becoming an officer of the company. However, I refused to accept unless they gave me a raise and additional stock options for the increased responsiblities. One day, I was called into my boss' office. I was told that they were terminating me and the reason they were getting rid of me was that they heard I was planning on leaving the company for a competitor and taking employees with me. This was a completely false accusation and I was not allowed to defend myself. They simply took my employee ID, key card, my laptop and escorted me out. I was not allowed to say goodbye to my employees or clients. I later found out that my accuser, who reported to me and was on my team, was the one who wound up doing exactly what I was accused of doing 6 months later. This was an early lesson that no matter how hard you work or dedicate yourself to a company you work for, there is no security.

I was immediately hired by a global ad agency that wanted to launch a website development division and paid 50% more than my prior employer. Within 6 months, my supervisor who said "I think the Internet is pedestrian and will never make an impact as an advertising or communication medium" told me I was no longer needed at the company and terminated my position.

I was subsequently hired by a Montreal-based technology firm to be its President and start its US operations. After two layoffs within two years, somehow, I found myself President of a company and earning double the income from the year prior. Six months later, the CEO from Montreal called to inform me their investors were cutting funding and I would have to shut down the company and be out of a job. I had $60,000 in severance payment due to me, I had 6 employees, and had contracts totaling $250,000 to develop websites. I agreed to shut down the company and told the CEO that I was willing to forgo my severance, if he simply allowed me to take over the US business. I did not want to let go of my employees or have to inform my clients that we could not fulfill our obligations to their contracts. The investors allowed me to acquire the US company in exchange for a payment of $1. I really did have to write a check for one dollar. I quickly lined up an angel investor who gave me $150,000 for 15% of the company which meant that I now owned 85% of a company valued at $1 million. On March 1998, BoutiqueY3k was born (the name was meant to imply the future of shopping). We launched the Nine West e-commerce site in July 1998. After 3 layoffs within two years, I've doubled my income, was owner of a company worth $1 million and had personal assets valued at $850,000. Within three years, my team and I eventually grew BoutiqueY3k to 26 employees and raised venture capital investment valuing the company at $12 million.

Am I afraid of unemployment? Hell no. The ease by which I obtained jobs was due to my network. In 1997, all it took was an email to a couple of dozen people, and my next job was within reach.

#1 lesson: Do not be embarrassed about being unemployed. Inform your close friends, family, and network immediately. No one can offer to help you if you do not let them know you are in need.

#2 lesson: Stay positive. If you have a good reputation and have not stepped on too many toes in the past, the chances of landing a job should be relatively simple. (Be careful of the toes you step on today, they may be attached to the ass you have to kiss tomorrow).

#3 lesson: Take the time to evaluate what you really want to do. Were you unhappy at your prior job? If so, is it time for a career change?

When I was laid off on Monday, January 11th 2010, I was 13 years older than when I first lost my job in 1997. We now have social networks at our disposal which enable us to reach out and communicate to our friends and acquaintances of our job status within seconds. I went on LinkedIn and updated my status to 334 connections to "Pondering my next move." Within minutes, I received words of encouragement from distant contacts and colleagues whom I met once or twice at conferences. By the time I turned on my computer the next day, my in box was full of messages from head hunters and friends offering their help in getting me a new job. I then updated my status on facebook to 508 friends. My days immediately became filled with meetings. I was offered a job as VP of Marketing at a start-up and a respected entrepreneur offered to fund and incubate my next project. I was offered office space from which to work. Another friend offered to review and negotiate my separation agreement pro bono.

Within 5 days of feeling sad and betrayed, I feel elated and optimistic about my future. I do not feel sorry for myself, but feel grateful of what is yet to come. At age 40, I am told I am more marketable. I have experience working at start-ups (K2, Abilon, RichFX, BoutiqueY3k) as well as with established companies (Burberry, Frette, La Perla). I've worked with Venture Capitalists and Private Equity firms. After shutting down BoutiqueY3k during the dot com crash in 2001, I was a gun shy about going out on my own again. Nine years later, I may just give it another try. Stay tuned...

Depression and Turning 40

I cannot blog about life after 40 without discussing depression. My impetus to start blogging about life after 40 is that one of my closest friends and her husband disclosed to me how hard it was to turn 40 and how depressing it was. They are a very attractive couple, with successful careers, and a beautiful daughter. They are well-traveled, have active social lives, and are affluent. At the time we had this discussion, I was 38. It surprised me that if highly successful people could be depressed about entering middle age, then everyone must get sad about it.

It has been widely discussed and written about that many people get depressed at reaching middle age. If you Google "middle age depression" you get over 4 million results. Many people are dissatisfied about their lives at the time they hit forty. It is often a time of reflection of "where I am in my life and what have I achieved." Also, this is a time where many of our parents are getting sick and starting to die so we wind up confronting our mortality head on.

Ultimately, I created this blog to be a "cheerleader" for life after 40. I want to reach out and share stories, thoughts, and ideas that there is much to look forward to. Forty is not mid-life but a one-third life for those who live healthy and full lives.

I had my own bout with depression when I was 31 years old. I didn't know what I was going through was depression, I just thought I was losing my mind. My sister had just passed away of a prescription drug overdose (another topic I will cover later) which triggered my depression. I could not work. I wound up canceling every meeting and speaking engagement. I took one week off work after my sister died, but had to come back since I had commitments, meetings, and employees who depended on me. Subsequently, 4 months later, I had to shut down my business and lay off 26 employees including close friends and my older brother. At the time, I couldn't sleep, and when I did, I couldn't wake up. I wanted to hide and was so ashamed that I didn't feel that I could face the world. I felt like a big disappointment and a failure.

I finally started seeing a therapist 3 months after shutting down the company, at the recommendation of a fellow board member of the National Association of Women Business Owners. I attended a board meeting and told the team I was resigning since I did not feel well or capable enough to fulfill my duties as an active board member. My colleague, who was a VP at a commercial bank, had also gone through the passing of her sister, and thought I should contact her therapist. I refused to go on anti-depressants and the therapist prescribed exercise, St. John's Wort, and Omega 3 supplements like flax seed oil. My aversion to prescription anti-depressants was probably due to my sister dying from prescription painkillers. I was anti-prescription anything at this time. To not bore you further and make a long story short, I somehow got through it. With the help of my family and close friends, I made it through. I started sleeping normally, waking up when I was supposed to and eventually got a job (within a year), had a child (within 2 years), and got married (within 6 years).

It is now 9 years later. I slowly started appreciating life again and became stronger emotionally. Early on, I took time off work and did some traveling with friends. I made regular plans to look forward to something. Kept up with the exercise, and at times when depression tries to sneak in, I buy some St. John's Wort, flax seed oil, and make a travel plan or see a concert. I somehow re-built my life and career again. I explored my identity and interests outside of work, took up painting and writing (at the encouragement of the therapist). Two friends even enrolled with me for screenwriting and memoir writing classes. I re-calibrated and re-balanced. At some point, I started feeling whole again.

I believe humans can get through anything. But we need each other. I was lucky enough to have friends and family who rallied around me and forced me to wake up and get out. Do me a favor, if someone asks you" how are you?" Really tell them the truth. If you are not doing well, say so. And when you ask someone, "How are you?" Really look into their eyes and see if they mean it. One person caring can mean the world to someone who is depressed. Many of us caring might even help someone to get out of it and look forward to living again. It worked for me.

Recommended reading:
Dr Xavier Amador: Benefits of Depression and Anxiety to Humans "They cause us to connect. When we are sad, people reach out to us and we feel the desire to be held, cared for, loved. Anxiety often has the same effect. And when we come together we can then pursue common causes such as the search for food, creating shelter, defense against predators -- our genes survive and are passed on to the next generation."
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-xavier-amador/pbs-this-emotional-life-r_b_407144.html

Amazing Spa Treats

I felt compelled to write about my deep tissue massage from Kate at Top Notch Resort and Spa on my 5th day snowboarding at Stowe. She could tell the difference from my recurring muscle and joint issues vs. my new ones from 5 full days of snowboarding. I felt so rejuvenated after the massage that I bought an extra day's ticket and was able to snowboard with my 7-year-old son and take him on his first blue run. A must stop and a 4-star recommendation if you're ever in Stowe, VT. http://www.topnotchresort.com/pop-experience-soul.htm
http://www.topnotchresort.com/index.php

Other amazing spas at ski resorts I've been to more than once (true sign of a happy customer): The Vail Cascade Spa in Vail, CO http://www.vailcascade.com/ In addition to a fabulous spa providing great massages, I also had my best facial ever at the Vail Cascade. I switched beauty products due to the recommendations of their facialist (whose name I regrettfully have forgotten). I now use Ling's sunscreen and Vitamin C serum after my skin was transformed after a visit at the Vail Cascade.

Another favorite is The Peaks Spa in Telluride, CO. http://www.thepeaksresort.com/spa/ It has to have the best sauna room due to its amazing mountain views. The mineral pool is so soothing that you never want to leave it. My friends were also amazed at the hot masseurs at The Peaks who happen to be highly skilled professionals. Every visit with my girlfriends to Telluride has to include a trip to The Peaks Spa.

Snowboarding at 40

Happy New Year! This past week was my first time snowboarding this season. I have to say, in my 15 years snowboarding, I'm doing better than ever having done 5 days straight of full days riding the mountains. Granted, my legs are sore and so is my lower back, but I felt the same aches and pains when I first got started 15 years ago so I do not attribute my current discomfort from older age. The muscle pains are just part of the joy of knowing I've had a full workout, pushed myself beyond my limits, and have had a great time. It's a great way to start the New Year being in the beautiful mountains of Vermont, breathing the fresh air, and getting to snowboard with my family.

I used to motivate myself to stay in shape, just so I can eventually get to snowboard (my passion and favorite activity) with my son Mateo. I thought that would happen at age 12, but last year, at age 6, Mateo was able to snowboard on the green runs at Stratton. It was thrilling to be able to ride side by side with him. And today, despite my aches and pains, I got myself back on the mountain after picking him up from snowboarding school and did a run with him on Stowe.

Now for the reward, in 1 hour, I have an appointment with a deep tissue massage therapist at the Top Knotch Spa. Ahhh, the rewards of active living. Hope you are enjoying your January 1st as much as I am.

Please share your favorite stories of enjoyment and motivation with your family. I look forward to hearing about them. Happy New Year! May your year be full of fun, prosperity, health and happiness!

Latebloomer Athletes May Have Advantage

I went in for my regular maintenance at Duke Chiropractic with Dr. Duggan today. I told him about my 40plusRocks blog and he thought it was a great idea. I told him about my recent post re: Staying Active Past 40. He said that often times, his latebloomer athlete clients have an advantage vs. those who have been athletes all their lives. They do not have the wear and tear.

Tell me about it. I have frequent neck and back trouble due to being a competitive cheerleader from 5th to 12th grade. Plus doing team sports like soccer, softball, volleyball, and basketball since grade school. I cannot run long distance at all since the bouncing hurts my neck (had a bad fall doing a backflip off a pyramid and landed on the back of my head). This is what brings me to Duke Chiropractic every couple of months, otherwise I get a huge migrain headache. So, those of you who have not been historically active, have an advantage over those who overdid it too soon.

After seeing Dr. Duggan, I ran into Dr. Duke in the reception area. He competes in triathlons and just started to at age 40. He is now 47 and looks 35. He said he was a bit depressed about turning 40 and decided to challenge himself by training for a triathlon. Dr. Duke has a beautiful wife and two sons with a thriving business so it was news to me that he would be unhappy about anything in his life. I will be posting interviews with Dr. Duke and Dr. Duggan soon re: training and maintenance of your temple past the age of 40. Until then, if you want to check out their site... here it is http://dukechironyc.com. Cheers!

Staying Active Past 40

I find many friends to be inspirational. Friends who have decided to run marathons and triathlons past the age of 40. It requires such effort for me to make time to get to the gym even twice a week so those who train very early in the morning and run their miles despite weather conditions I find truly remarkable.

If you feel sluggish or totally uninspired, go to a marathon or triathlon and watch the competitors. You will see people of all ages, father/son, mother/daughter competitors, driven to complete 26+ miles for an unknown cause that is very personal to them. Whether they are competing in someone's memory or as a personal goal, watching these competitors even at halfway mark towards the finish line left me in awe.

At the recent NYC Marathon in November, I clapped for every person over the age of 40 who ran by me as I watched from 1st Avenue and 90th Street. My hands were sore from clapping. You can see the internal mental and physical struggle they are contending with from their faces. You can also see the determination, happiness, and thrill of the competition in their faces. I came to catch my friend Rob Le Bras-Brown run by, and wound up clapping for and doing my best to encourage people whom I've never met before. I screamed "Whoo-hoo" for all of them. I wish I could interview that 50+ lady who ran by me or that 60+ man who made running look simple compared to the 20-somethings next to him. In the next couple of days, I will attempt to interview some of these friends and try to get to the heart of their motivation and what drives them to succeed.